content warning: implied sexual abuse, cleaning OCD, minor injury, blood mention

shifting in and out of dream sickeningly breath trapped and wet on his face. the grass rolls painted in. sepia blades, palest cotton candy falling around like a crowd. tasting the sugary residue of sweat blink up at the inside of the tent. metal bars in the mashed-up grass, rope thicker than grip coiled digesting snake, spine moulded to the nest gaze drifting jittering away from the stripped skin pre-cooked man stretched above.

NO! ripped from sleep grasping out to grab the light. flicks on, glowing down at his skin running fingers there, there, on there. jumping, talking. letting you know, letting you know. kaeyed gets up, leaves this awful goddamn room, struggles not to slam the bathroom door, dropping the blanket to his feet, gripping clumsily at the bath tap.

holds the tub still with a slippery hand. jellyfish in his chest.

water falls over skin, pouring down the tips of his knees making a river to his groin. he rubs his throat with his knuckles over and over, all around making it red. folds his head to his knees and heat hits his scalp, fills his mouth, choking his face hot. pretends the wetness is tears, pretends this is normal for a long minute.

the water warms, turns hot,

boiling boy in the water. maybe he's a crab, red hot claws, shuts his mouth and looks at the porcelain, blinking. eyelashes clumped together.

the sides of the tent close in, orange tinting tilting, hand on the back of his head shudder, lifting his scalp sudden, crack on the tap. everything turning to crystals. hand comes away bloody. dragging out of the water. lying on his side on the cold floor, blistering, wet, pathetic. a laugh caught at the bottom of his throat. dressed in all this flesh. drowned in this flesh.

the door opens. has been opened. knees, hips, head above him. kaeyed tries to gather up his limbs–

KAEYED…

KAEYED

WAKE UP, COME ON

head rolling, eyes gooey

lifted, arm over shoulder,

collected together

emery’s breath hot on neck

heaved up

skin, pressing,

the corridor, white and grey

and

down again

darkness again.

emery’s face waxy with sleep

their bodies rising and falling

touched and untouching

drenched

in the murky realm of dreaming

PRICKLY HOT anxious

tearing taking

COME ON WAKE UP.

WAKE UP!

sitting skin wet, swinging out of bed

stumbling to the window

dropping half a body outside

wind whipping ears

the street dark

rain falling like a blessing

graceful against his swollen cheeks

taking in the winking evening.

then collapsing

finding a place on the floor

folding around his head

lobster,snake

Fixing Mx and Ms